Sunday, May 3, 2009

Bionic Fence Eating Squirrels

Today was "Lawn Day". I officially got into summer mode by mowing, raking and weeding. I even put the snow shovels away although that might still be foolish. However what I noticed on my fence was astonishing. On the metal fasteners that keep the chainlink attached to the fence pipe, I saw that many of them had gashes and some were worn so far through they look like someone used a grinder or a metal file to file them down to thin strips or as if they were chewed through.

Talking to the neighbor, I found an astonishing answer as she told me what she had observed. Bionic fence eating squirrels were eating or filing their teeth on these metal bands. Nearly 15 fasteners had been gnawed by these squirrel warriors. I imagine by now their fangs would snap a leg in two in one chomp. I am on Dr. Moreau's island. Does the squirrel man know what he's created? I think not.

However, news from the front tells me that "Fatty" Squirrel, a corpulent general in the squirrel army took a header from same fence into the neighbor's kiddie pool. Fatty was found doing the dead man's float this morning. Some think it might have been suicide but I for one think there was foul play. Perhaps a jealous bunny.

The skunk's home under my garage was siezed by eminent domain and promptly filled packed and destroyed. Another skunk affected by "This Economy." Wait until he has to pay more taxes at the end of the year. He'll be taking a header into the pool too.

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